Having
a strong relationship with your mother, or a maternal figure, can benefit both
of you in so many ways. A mother will love you, stay with you during highs and
lows, and will be able to help you make the right decision for yourself in
life. In William Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet”, Juliet, the main character,
does not have a strong bond with her mother. Juliet is very obedient, and loves
her parents just as they love her, but they aren’t close, and there aren’t many
moments where you see the mother and child type bond between Juliet and her mother,
Lady Capulet. Her parents are very strict with Juliet and won’t tolerate any
nonsense or disobedience. Juliet and her mother’s relationship is so “loose”
because of their impetuous culture of marrying and having children early which
may have marred Lady Capulet’s attempt at motherhood since she was so young.
Juliet is not only getting married
to Romeo at a young age, but also to Paris. The culture in Verona (where the
play takes place) seems impetuous because it’s quite common for marriage to be
so early in one’s life. Lord and Lady Capulet are unaware of Juliet’s marriage
to Romeo (which has a significant age difference), but they are aware of her
marriage to Paris, which also has a rather large age difference that they are
not opposed to. “But saying o’er what I have said before./ My child is yet a
stranger in the world./ She hath not seen the change of fourteen years./ Let
two more summers wither in their pride/ Ere we may think her ripe to be a
bride.” (1.2.7-11) Here, Capulet is telling Paris he doesn’t think Juliet is
ready to get married, but in two years she will be 15/16, and then she’ll be
ready. That’s still a very young age for someone to get married at, but the
process speeds up in act 3. “CAPULET Monday, ha ha! Well, Wednesday is too
soon./ O’ Thursday let it be.– O’ Thursday, tell her,/ She shall be married to
this noble earl.–/ Will you be ready? Do you like this haste?/ We’ll keep no
great ado: a friend or two, /For hark you, Tybalt being slain so late, /It may
be thought we held him carelessly,/ Being our kinsman, if we revel much./
Therefore we’ll have some half a dozen friends,/ And there an end” (3.4.22-31)
Now, Capulet has changed his mind, and makes Juliet marry Paris to cheer her up
after Tybalt’s death, while Juliet is still only fourteen, though it doesn’t seem
to be much of a concern now that he’s made a decision. Capulet, who at first
wanted his daughter to wait two years to marry, is now proposing to have the
wedding in three days, while Juliet is still only fourteen.
The nurse serves as a “bridge” or
“translator” for Lady Capulet and Juliet because she’s able to help Lady
Capulet and Juliet connect with one another, despite their “loose”
relationship. Since Juliet and her mother aren’t very close, Juliet’s nurse
helps them communicate using her inappropriate sense of humor and her undivided
love for Juliet and the Capulets. “This is the matter.– Nurse, give leave
awhile./ We must talk in secret.– Nurse, come back again.” (1.3.8-9) During
this scene, Lady Capulet attempts to talk to her daughter by herself, but when
she realizes she doesn’t really know Juliet very well, and doesn’t know what to
say to her, she brings the nurse in to help her. Juliet and the nurse have
known each other since Juliet was a baby. Sometimes that makes Lady Capulet
jealous, because she didn’t get to spend precious moments with Juliet like the
nurse did. “I never should forget it. “Wilt thou not, Jule?”/ quoth he./ And,
pretty fool, it stinted and said “Ay.”/ LADY CAPULET Enough of this, I pray thee, hold thy
peace.” (1.3.51-54) In this scene, a hint of jealousy comes up when Lady
Capulet asks the nurse to stop telling a funny story about Juliet as a baby.
Since Lady Capulet didn’t get to experience these moments, she resents the
nurse for having experienced them. Lady Capulet might regret not having raised
Juliet as much as she would have wanted to because now their relationship is
not as strong as it could have been.
Lady Capulet was no older than
Juliet is now when she had her. Lady Capulet must have married at quite a young
age, and had a baby at about fourteen years old. This might have been a factor
in her and Juliet’s weak relationship, because she was so young and perhaps didn’t
know how to be a mother. Since she didn’t know this skill, or was too young to
fully understand it, it evolved into the unfamiliar relationship between the
two of them that we read about in the play. Since she wasn’t able to be a
mother to Juliet when she was a baby, she struggles to act like a mother for
her now, but will never have the chance to be baby Juliet’s mother again. “Well,
think of marriage now. Younger than you/ Here in Verona, ladies of esteem,/ Are
made already mothers. By my count/ I was your mother much upon these years/
That you are now a maid. Thus then in brief:/ The valiant Paris seeks you for
his love.” (1.3.75-80) This just enforces the idea of Verona’s impetuous
culture of early marriage. For generations, women have been marrying and having
children very early, but Lady Capulet doesn’t seem to think that it’s an issue.
“PARIS
Younger than she are happy
mothers made./ CAPULET
And too soon marred are those so early made./ Earth hath swallowed all my hopes
but she;/ She’s the hopeful lady of my earth.” (1.2.12-15) In this scene,
Capulet is telling Paris that Juliet will be unhappy and won’t have as good a
future as she might have had if she married at a later age. He might be
referring to Lady Capulet’s early marriage to him, and how that may have marred
her. It seems like Lady Capulet has no problem marrying early, but Capulet
does. This disagreement may be a factor in their odd relationship that doesn’t
seem like they truly love each other (probably because it was an arranged
marriage), which may influence Juliet’s perspective on love because she doesn’t
have a relationship to model her own after.
Lady Capulet and Juliet’s
relationship may be so unfamiliar because of Verona’s culture, including early
marriage and conception, which marred Lady Capulet’s attempt at motherhood
because of her age. I can connect this to the present day controversial issue
of adoption, using the TV show “Teen Mom” as an example, as crazy as it seems.
In both “Teen Mom” and “Romeo and Juliet”, teenaged girls are becoming mothers.
In “Romeo and Juliet”, Lady Capulet and Juliet have a loose relationship in
which they don’t really know each other. They obviously love each other, but
don’t have an ideal relationship where the mother and daughter can easily
confide in one another. In “Teen Mom”, many of the moms give up their children
for adoption, an incredibly hard process. I am by no means against adoption,
but as they’re giving up their babies for adoption, they’re giving away their
opportunity at motherhood with that child, just like Lady Capulet did when she
chose to have the nurse raise Juliet. But as they say, when one door closes,
another door opens. When mothers give their children up for adoption, they
might be giving up their chance of motherhood, but they’re also giving the
adoptive mother a chance at motherhood she may never have had if not for the biological
mother choosing adoption. Maybe that’s what Lady Capulet was doing when she let
the nurse- who lost her chance at motherhood when her daughter passed away-
take care of Juliet, giving her another chance at motherhood but losing her own
simultaneously.
